Do better.

I learned a new word a few weeks ago: kaizen. From the Oxford English Dictionary Online, kaizen is defined as:

A Japanese business philosophy of continuous improvement in working practices, personal efficiency, etc.; hence, an improvement in performance or productivity.

Business aside, the idea of "continuous improvement" really resonates with me, particularly in response to my last post of living in the present. You see, I always want to be a better person, in nearly every way. Yet, at the same time, I feel like I do the best I can and that should be enough. But if I'm always looking to improve, it seems as though my best is most certainly not good enough. 

Finding that sweet spot in between just being and being better can be a little tricky.  I imagine that sweet spot to be santosha, or contentment, the second of the niyamas (one of Patanjali's Eight Limbs of Yoga).

For the most part, I consider myself to be a pretty content person. I also consider myself to be patient, kind, generous and compassionate. Still, I can reflect back on times when I could have been more patient, shown more kindness, been more generous, or perhaps acted with more compassion. Continuous improvement reminders, all of them.

So, do I want to be better or do I want to be content? Are the two mutually exclusive? 

Whether it be personally or professionally, I have this persistent drive to be better. A thorough psychological evaluation might reveal that my constant desire for improvement is somehow linked to self-esteem issues, feelings of inferiority, fear of failure, who knows? What I have come to understand, about myself, is that I am most content when I know that I have put forth sincere efforts and moved forward with the best intentions.  The end result, whether it be success of failure, generally doesn't matter. I'm all for "try, try again."  I just know that this is part of my character. Kaizen is part of my character. Santosha comes when I accept all parts of my character to be parts of my true self.  

Namaste, my friends :)

Are you keeping time in Being Present? There's no keeping time in Being Present!

One of the things I struggle with is being in the present. Sometimes it feels very natural for me to be in the present. I just am. But then other days, I worry that I dwell too much on past performances and future goals.

For instance, yesterday I ran my fifth 5k race of the season. Back in January, after a very rough 2012, I declared 2013 the "Year of Angel" and made a pretty ambitious list of goals for the year. One of my goals was to run eight 5ks this season. Granted, I have yet to "run" an entire course, completing number five felt pretty good. I only completed four races the entire season last year so I made it past that halfway mark. Hooray! Likewise, my slowest time this year, 35:21, is about five minutes faster than my fastest time last year, 40:23 (which was just three months after I had a hysterectomy). Aaaand there I go again: a lot of past, some future, no present.

What is wrong with me? (Oh, there you are, present tense.)

*breathe*

I know that nothing is wrong with me. It takes time to learn to live in the present. While the success of my professional work is built around planning, I believe that I am an inherent planner. I am not nearly as anxious about the future as I once was but I still map out my days, weeks, and months, sometimes multiple-months in advance. (Thank you Save-the-Date culture.) Additionally, I've spent a lot of time in front of students teaching them strategies of setting and achieving goals; these are undoubtedly good skills but are still rooted in that which is beyond the present.

Likewise, I've learned a lot about the art of letting go, particularly when it comes to those non-material possessions that seemed to haunt my soul or hinder my spirit. I am grateful for all the generous and loving coaches, mentors, and roles models I've had throughout my adult life. So very grateful. Of course, in situations of immense loss or pain, letting go is neither easy nor artful, it is simply an experience.

But being in the present? That can be tough.

My intent for this blog was to write about starting and finishing. I was going to use my 5k races as a metaphor for my semesters insofar as I often start strong but finish not-so-strong. Early in the season, I confessed to Aaron that I never finish as strongly as I should.  I told him that if I'm walking and I can see the finish line, I sometimes continue to walk. I told him that if I'm running when I cross the finish line, I'm not running full-speed ahead. Aaron encouraged me to finish strong. He said I should always try and finish strong. And I know he's right. I should.

The semester begins tomorrow. I have spent the past month preparing for my start. I will begin with an intent to finish strong. In the space between beginning and ending, I will do my best to just be.

Namaste, my friends :)

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry!

This fall term, which for me officially begins on August 26th, I will be teaching three sections of composition at the community college, taking three courses in my nutrition program, working an internship, and (I hope) teaching some yoga classes.  Of course there are other tasks on my agenda (i.e. eat, sleep, be merry) but the work- and school-related tasks will undoubtedly top the list.  That said, I've spent the past few weeks easing my way back into work mode: exchanging emails, writing syllabi, and beginning work on my internship.

My internship is with the the New York State Public Health Association or NYSPHA for short.  In October, NYSPHA will be holding a workshop, "Creating Effective Partnerships to End Childhood Obesity," in Albany. The keynote presenter, Victoria W. Rogers, MD, is the director of the Let's Go! program.  From the program's website: 

Let’s Go! is helping kids and families eat healthy and be active. We understand it’s important to have a consistent message about healthy habits where you live, learn, work and play. So we partner with teachers, doctors, child care providers, and community organizations to help share the same four healthy habits of “5 2 1 0” everyday:
5 – fruits and veggies
2 – hours or less of recreational screen time*
1 – hour or more of physical activity
0 – sugary drinks, more water and low-fat milk
* Keep TV/computer out of bedroom. No screen time under the age of 2

I think this is a fantastic idea and I am so excited to have the opportunity to participate in the NYSPHA workshop.Our children are our future but what we do for them now, what we do for ourselves now, fuels that future. 

As you begin to map out your own agenda for fall, remember to incorporate some nutritious eats, healthy drinks, and active merry-making! Namaste :)

Let's talk about stealing. Or education. Or both.

This morning, this story on NPR.org caught my eye. The idea of the thief, or thieves, returning the loot with the note was touching and, because it's NPR, I thought I might read through a few of the comments.  As an aside, I generally venture into "Comment" zones with great caution as one never knows what lies beneath.  In any case, one of the commentators on this particular article made a joke about "Robin Hood [having] a 3rd grade education." Now, even as I sit here after typing that out, I must take pause.  Education is a big deal and few things will stir me more than discussing the state of education in this country.  So I pause.

The Yama, consisting of a list of five character-building restraints, is the first of Patanjali's Eight-Fold path toward leading a life of meaning and ethical intent. The third restraint in this list of Yamas is asteya, which means: Do not steal. The connection between the news story and this Yama is obvious. The thieves should not have stolen the loot in the first place, right? But anyone who's ever had anything -- physical or otherwise -- taken from them knows how truly devastating loss can be.

This morning, however, I cannot help but wonder about this thing called opportunity. As Americans, we pride ourselves in the fact that we are a land of opportunity.  If that is the case, then are we to presume that everyone in this country has the opportunity to obtain an education? And what if that doesn't happen?  Or what if it's not possible?  What, then, has become of the opportunity?  Has the action of taking the opportunity been aborted or has the opportunity itself simply been taken away? Or, might we say, stolen away?

Noticing the Scenery

I once worked for a very wealthy lady who told me that money doesn't make one happy but it does make life easier.  While I knew the "Money doesn't buy happiness" bit to be true, I only suspected the latter to be true.  Affluent people rarely seem willing to admit to the easy life, or perhaps they may be unable to discern the difference between happiness and ease?  In any case, it was refreshing to hear her ready, no-nonsense confirmation.

This morning, in an attempt to figure out how I'm going to pay my bills for the month, I dedicated some time to my non-income issue.  (For the record, I will begin teaching in the fall, I just have to make it through August.) One of the biggest challenges is not allowing myself to get distracted by other issues that are somewhat related but not truly relevant. In order to avoid those distractions (which hardly ever end up being productive and oftentimes leave me feeling irritated and somewhat resentful), I have to stop what I am doing and move on to another activity.  That is what I have decided to do today.  

The other activity I was planning was not writing this blog; it was my yoga practice. As I pushed papers aside, closed my calender and began to shift my mental focus, I was struck by the act of switching gears.  In order to move out of my muddled head space onto the openness of my mat, I was going to have to switch gears. Perhaps more than once. Thus my intention was to write about the metaphor of switching gears.  However, in the process, it seems that my intention was not, in fact, what I really wanted to write about. And so I allow myself, via the wonderful vehicle of writing, to simply notice the scenery as I journey from an uneasy mind to a state of mindful ease.  Namaste :)

Two shall become one :)

Before I went to Kripalu, I primarily took vinyasa flow classes. At Kripalu, our main practice was hatha yoga.  Pretty significant difference.  I love my vinyasa flow classes. Most of them are hot and vigorous and I always end the class feeling as though I'd gotten an amazing workout. But I also realize the vigorous vinyasa classes generally attract students looking for a very specific practice.

What I love about Kripalu yoga is how it integrates all the different types of yoga: Bhakti (devotion), Karma (action/sequence), Jnana (knowledge) and Hatha (physical health) into one practice. Getting that full yoga experience is what truly draws me to the mat.  Kripalu focuses a great deal on centering, meditation, self-inquiry and compassion (on and off the mat).

While I still love my vigorous vinyasa, I now have a much deeper appreciation of the history, philosophy, and ethics of yoga.  My initial intention is to construct a Kripalu yoga class for beginners, infused with bits and pieces of yogic philosophy.  At the same time, I would like my asana sequence to have a nice flow...sort of a slow-mo vinyasa flow. So that is my challenge/goal for today.  Happy Friday!

August

August has always signified a time of new beginnings which can, at once, be joyous and sorrowful.  After all, a new beginning generally implies there is also an ending. August is a gift. It is a period in which we are allowed to reflect on that which we have finished and that which we have yet to begin.  Yes, be scared!  Yes, be excited!  Yes, be cautious!  Yes, be courageous!  Bid a long, sweet, and very deserving farewell to the hot summer that will soon be behind us and look ahead -- beyond the horizon -- to the many exciting adventures that await.  We are given thirty-one days to sit in the center of transition, to truly absorb the changes caused by the thermal energy of summer, to appreciate the gentle balance of all that was and all that will be.  

Namaste :)